Words are free. It’s how you use them, that my cost you.
Be sure to taste your words before you spit them out.
Last week, I went to Boracay. I was so excited to be back and see the improved island – I decided to go on a two-week self-imposed no rice diet. Hello… My body wasn’t beach ready!
If you know me well, rice is something that I almost could not live without (or so I thought). Those two weeks made me find creative ways on how / what to eat. I was successful – ’til I went home after the 2nd week. It was hard to resist home-cooked meals, especially those prepared by my grandma.
Nevertheless, I noticed a very slight change in my body – I was able to pull my stomach in without being too obvious.
Yes, it’s till big, but when I saw my Boracay photos, I was happy. For me, my “diet” paid off.
Until I posted them on social media.
Comments for the photos above were those of ‘friends’ calling me out for trying to hide my bulging belly in my beach photos. Others just wanted to make fun of me by mocking my photos – my skin color, or my pose.. They just manage to find something wrong in everything. In Laganja Estranja’s words : “I FEEL VERY ATTACKED!!!”
YES. YOU MIGHT SAY THAT:
- Social media is a toxic place to begin with, anything you put out there will be judged
- If you don’t want to be judged, don’t post anything
- Why are you so sensitive? These were just jokes!
YES. Yes. and Yes.
But I also believe that my feelings are valid. That if a person is to be considered a friend, he or she should not be saying mean things to the other – even if they’re not being serious. If they wanted to criticize or call me out on something, there’s a thing called private message? It’s not funny to put nasty remarks out there for everyone to see.
I am sorry – but those comments were offensive. It hurts because the words came from people whom you expected to be treating you as a ‘friend’, but instead, they were acting like you’re some piece of shit that they just had to laugh at.
I’ve always had body issues – the “diet” I went through was a struggle, I wanted to celebrate how far I came but they just rained on my parade. That one time that I felt better about myself – they just had to bring me down.
okay. Given that “they didn’t know”; but is it that hard to be kind? Why do people think that being “friends” gives you the license to insult others?
I should’ve dealt with this last week, but it still haunts me. I wanted to retaliate, because I know that if anyone can use words as a weapon, it would be me.. But I chose not to. I chose to be silent – err, except for the few tweets. I did not glorify the insults. I hid the photos. They don’t deserve to be seen by these rude people.
It is hard to love yourself when the people around you tell you that you can’t. Everyday, I look in the mirror and I see flaws. But you know what, I have accepted them as part of me. I am not perfect, but I try my very best to be kind – even to those who are not in my circle.
Now, I refuse to give power to people who aren’t really helping me, who weren’t even there when I needed them.
Please use your words wisely. If you have nothing nice to say, then don’t say anything at all. You can always unfollow people you don’t like. If you want to talk about them behind their backs, then by all means go ahead – create a groupchat or something.
It pays to be kind, darling.
Remember that shaming is also bullying.