Not ready to make nice (How I gained and lost my former friend)

When we became friends, you told me how you used to hate me. You first heard my name being talked about in the office, as that one person who was almost always unclothed (on social media). Your superiority was being challenged, and you had to know who I was. Fast forward to one of the trainings that, unfortunately, we both attended – you saw me and one of my best friends sporting our snob resting bitch faces. You hated me again for that – because you know I was something else.

Eventually, we found a way to coexist. You, with that pretty big head of yours; and me in my own simple little world. Until one time, when you created a committee in the office and for some reason, you invited me to be a part of it. Back then, I didn’t know why you did that; but now I realized that it was a power move. Your lust for power made you want to control the more influential (friendly) people in the office; and being someone with an ego the size of Jupiter, you can’t really reach those people who aren’t being nice to you (who are apparently, nice to me). So you “took me under your wings” and let the whole world know that I am your “daughter”.

Now, I don’t really remember which came first – that one or my angel in the yearend white party; but my wings cemented my place as one of the more visible gays in the office. I was asked by someone to be part of a program that will launch the People’s Committee / Diversity because they wanted to capitalize on what I did in the yearend party. I believe they asked me if I can host the event, but I turned it down, knowing that while I don’t mind the attention, someone else can do a better job. And that’s when I gave your name to them. I believe it was pivotal, because it started your “career” and we all know how you loved the spotlight.

I was happy for you. After all, I thought that your success was also my success – we became friends. And by some twist of fate, we were in a group of five friends – we called ourselves VEX. It just started – and we were like Carrie and friends or the Spice Girls or whatever Girl Group you can think of. Our presence was felt, we made people happy. We made people admire our friendship.

And then came the cracks.

While we were all trying to understand the constant need for attention, we were also trying to deal with each other’s dramas. I remember this one time we had an argument in the pantry, where you raised your voice so loud that people in the production floor can hear what we were discussing. And what was that? Your email that you were returning to the Employee Engagement Group after a much talked about resignation (due to irreconcilable differences with one of its advisers). We weren’t taking this seriously, we were just telling you that this isn’t really something that you should come back to when you’ve already said you would resign and all that shit… But Whatever. Again, you love the attention.

You would also whine and rant about how your mom favored your brother (apparently, a hot gay guy whom you were very afraid to share a photo of because hello, it’s where all those insecurities were coming from); about the long distance relationship you have with your now ex-boyfriend, because you would always have disagreements about money and he would call you names, even show us his emails and how badly he treated you (remember, you got mad about an email that we read but we were not supposed to because it wasn’t addressed to us)… Oh, you would also complain about not having a physical presence of a guy because you long for that in times you felt so alone (but you have a lot of friends and dogs and succulents). You even asked us to cover and lie for your affairs; even asked us to pair you up with some of our single friends.. You would join us on our Friday nightouts, always wanting to rub your ass against someone in the club or just go around looking for someone to flirt with – so as not to go home empty-handed.

GUESS WHAT, WE DIDN’T MIND. WE Accepted you for that, even if it became toxic and irritating at times.

And then came the Music Video contest. We were on different teams. You were in the same team with two of our Vex Friends, I was in another. I don’t know who came up with the VMA Concept but since you are the EEG President I am assuming it was you. My manager was competitive, and so were you.

Our team opted to recreate station IDs of ABS CBN, while your team did Moves Like Jagger. We were both part of the videos, and we both dressed as girls – me being paired with a cute officemate, and you as Christina Aguilera. It was unfortunate that our video was done better than yours; so naturally, our friends were more excited for our team’s video. It was all fun, everyone was curious to see the final output and our team was supposed to have a grand reveal of this scene at the music video launch:

But you chose to spoil it thru a teaser sent to everybody. We were disappointed; it was meant to be a surprise treat to the viewers. One of our friends uploaded this photo with the caption that talked about the reveal that was spoiled. We were all laughing and having a good time, telling everyone to boycott your event because, well, we all know who would win. AND YOU FCKING TOOK IT SERIOUSLY. haha.

You dragged me to the quiet room and cried and sobbed accusing me of conspiring with our friends to bring you down – hello, guess what, one of them has a flight to Hong Kong, one doesn’t really want to go and the other one is still not sure. I was the only one going, you moron. And you continued the crying spree, telling me that this was your only baby, that you worked hard for this event and you were counting on your friends to be there for you but we were ridiculing the VMA themed party. Little did you know that the uploaded photo was only visible to THE FIVE OF US.

Anyway, being the strong person that you are, you dismissed and ignored this snafu and continued with your event. After all, this was the culmination of your yearlong kissass moments in order to be visible and to get the promotion you wanted. I attended the party – for my team. WE DID NOT WIN, obviously. Your Contest, Your set of Judges, Your Award. We got People’s Choice, though – this means they loved us haha.

We started to drift away from each other and people noticed. We chose to stay quiet until the 26th of March, 2012. When news of you bullying an officemate reached me. Yes, you got the promotion you wanted, but together with it came the revelation of your true colors. I just had to react and post something on Facebook – I know it’s too petty, but someone needed to call you out. You replied and posted something on your wall as well. The next day, everyone in the office was talking about those two posts, and how it confirmed the end of our friendship.

We never talked again.

Until I left the office, and said my goodbyes to the people who were part of my stay. I sent you a message, and you replied (I think). Months later, you also moved to the branch. Again, you ensured that people would notice you. You headed the Socials committee and hogged the spotlight (like you always do). When people ask me if I knew you, I would just shrug and say that we used to be friends. And if they ask what happened, I’d just tell them that it was because of a photo. I’m like, I’m already living a happy, quiet life here please spare me……

You went back to our former office, probably because you realized your attention whoring wouldn’t get you a promotion because it didn’t work like that here. You tried to reclaim your old glory. You worked hard on your appearance, because after breaking up with your ex, you probably realized no one would really like you if they saw you for who you truly are. You reinvented yourself, you became “nice” to people?

You left again, after a year. But you didn’t leave without making a mark on your officemates- you would call them out on social media if they question your favored President. You would throw countless illogical arguments and again, force your egotistical views on people. You would conduct a training on public speaking, and assign topics that were all Duterte related (like wtf bitch). And you would flood our social media feeds with your trashy political views and your tacky public display of affection with your new boyfriend……. Good thing there was an unfollow button. I would’ve unfriended you, like what all of our other friends did.. I did not.

Somehow, there is a part of me that was thankful for the friendship; maybe I don’t want to burn that bridge yet – and also, there’s a bigger part of me who is happy seeing how you try to show everyone how perfect your life is, when we all know deep inside that it’s just as crazy as everyone else’s.

Cheers former friend. HHAHAHAHAHA.

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