I am super sleepy. And since I don’t really like drinking coffee, I don’t know what I can do to fight this. I hate not being able to sleep early and waking up even if I haven’t had enough zzzz’s yet.
Did you know that the opposite of peace is fear? I was in a “carers” (sort of) convention yesterday, where Unilab (pharmaceutical company) and various organizations – including #MentalHealthPH – gathered all those who are taking care of people (mostly with mental illnesses). As part of LoveyourselfPh, I was asked by our clinic coordinator to attend. So even if I slept late the previous night (coz I watched Binibining Pilipinas and frontrunner Catriona Grey emerged as the victor); I had to wake up early the next day to be there. The event had a mass (YES, and I haven’t been to Church for more than a year now – don’t ask); and the priest told us about this peace-fear thing. In a way, it is true. Those who are afraid of losing something aren’t always at peace. While those who have peace in their hearts do not fear anything.
I will have to pause here because I lost my train of thought; and I am now awake. Lol.
If you were given a choice – whether to stand out or fade into the background, what would you choose? If I was still in my twenties, I would’ve wanted to stand out (not that I don’t, I have a feeling that I do jk). But now that I am a bit older, I want to just be part of “the ones that observe” cue: Circus by Britney. Why? Because standing out is not always a good thing – people (even the ones you are friends with) will always have something to say. Such is the case of my life right now, I am fading in some people’s radar. I feel that if people want to be with you, they will exert an effort to reach out. Relationships are always two-way; if you’re the only one doing something, maybe it’s time to rethink and assess the situation. Some things are not worth keeping.
Taylor Swift made it clear that love’s a game. But it is so effed up that everytime I stumble upon something (or someone), this person becomes – for the lack of a better description – my next mistake. I met someone – turns out he’s taken. It’s a vicious cycle – and this time, I was able to stop before anything progresses. I don’t know how people do it nowadays. I was out with a friend the other day and he was telling me that I shouldn’t be afraid to initiate – something that I’ve done before, but it didn’t really turn out well for me. The game is changing. I don’t know how to play it anymore. Taylor, I need your help.