Exhaustion is a necessary evil. It tells you that you are not perfect, and that sometimes you have to take a break and recalibrate.
Last weekend was one of the most stressful ones I’ve had – because I was not able to get enough sleep and there was just too much work that needed to be done with the entry of a new batch of volunteers in the organization. It’s refreshing to see new faces, but it somehow pains me that it might be the first and the last time I would see them. Must be, because they realized that it isn’t really the thing for them. Nevertheless, we welcomed them with smiles on our weary faces. I, for one, only had two hours of sleep because I had to be a friend the previous night and again put on a smile to welcome a friend from Australia. It was the only available time on her month-long vacation in the PH; so even if it meant she’ll be meeting us at midnight, we just had to make it happen.
But you gotta do what you gotta do.
I was happy reuniting with my friends. But doing the volunteer job last Saturday made me feel a bit uneasy. I guess I’m no longer used to being in the company of too many powerful gays who have really, really, REALLY strong personalities. It’s a bit intimidating; but fun, nevertheless. I can tell that the new ones are excited to see what volunteer life would bring them.
I Wish the wind would carry me to you, so I can find peace again. I wish it would blow all my worries away, that it’s fine and I’m doing okay. I wish that the gentle breeze I felt on my face were kisses that you subtly sent my way, because then, I would be comforted even with just the idea that you are still there. I wish that the wind would softly whisper sweet nothings; and I will sleep well, knowing that I would wake up to it’s gentle caress the morning after.
But it is not. It’s fucking summer and it’s unbearably hot.