Last night was a call for help. It was the first time, in my entire life, that I blatantly told the world – at least in my social circle – that I was so fed up and tired that I wanted to just jump out of the building.
And I realized I was actually contemplating on doing that. What pains me so much was that the very reason why I had those thoughts was someone so dear to me – my mom. It’s weird how we love our family so much that they can also rile us up to the point that we can almost lose it.
I won’t go through the details because it would feel like scratching the wound over and over again; but I’m just happy that someone heard that call and talked me through whatever it was I’ve been thinking. Now that I think about it, I believe I’m not brave enough to go as far as trying to end my life; but I know I could do something so drastic it would ruin me or my relationships with people. I’ve always considered myself rebellious- most Aquarians are – and I know I can act on impulse.
So I was just glad that someone heeded the call and talked to me. Sometimes, all we need is a person who can listen. We don’t need them to understand, because they will never do. But to show a friend that you are there to listen – it works wonders. I should know, I’ve been counseling people for more than a year now.
I’m feeling better today; and I hope it’ll be over tomorrow.