I know when I’m wanted, and I know when I’m not.
Or maybe, it’s just my hypersensitive self acting up again (I admit it happens a lot). You see, I’ve discovered a new world and set of friends through volunteering. We go out every weekend to drink after duty (duty – time spent in the clinic for volunteering).
If I’m not going home to the province, I spend both Saturday and Sunday at the clinic (unless there are prior commitments made). This has become a non-negotiable for me.
Last Saturday, after duty, we went to one of our co-volunteer’s pad to drink. I already informed them that I’d be leaving early because I have to go back to the clinic and meet a co-volunteer who bought comic con tickets from me (different story, will talk about that some other time).
When it was past midnight already, I told my friends that I really have to leave. Aside from the fact that I have to be in the clinic early, I also am having sleeping problems.
One friend decided to pull a prank
on me. He handcuffed me. So, naturally, I felt angry. One – I already told them the reason why I needed to leave, and two- if there’s anything else I value, it’s my time. Eventually, they unlocked the handcuff when they saw that I was serious.
The next day, we were all at the clinic again (they came late coz they were drunk the night before). It hurt me that what happened was nothing to them, like it was already normal for them to act that way. Or maybe they were just drunk.
And then the day progressed and there was a meeting for volunteers after clinic hours. We discussed about some issues that affect the quality of service that the org’s counselors provides.
Some of these issues really hit me – one, there were times that I’ve chosen clients and refused the ones who are reactive; and two, I’ve failed to contact those clients who were reactive and encouraged them to get treatment.
So these two issues (friends and counseling) hounded me till today. I was on the verge of quitting last night, but then, I thought about what I’ve done and how far I’ve gone since I started volunteering.
One of my takeaways from the meeting was to always remember the reason why we volunteered. I will be holding on to that. Even if I don’t go with these friends in their weekly drinking sessions, or even if I’d be left with no one to talk to during clinic hours; I will have to be fine.
My purpose in joining the organization is not to make new friends and join new cliques; it is to help others. If you are doing the right thing, then you will never go astray.
So I resolved that. And I also talked to my reactive clients and followed up on them. I’m happy to say that most of them, well all of those who replied to my message, are already taking the treatment. I pray that they will be given more strength, and that they will live longer lives.
As to the issues with my friends, I conclude that this is me in hypersensitive mode. However, it’s part of the package if they want me to be their friend. I have people who already accepted that and we all learned to compromise/live with it.
I will be treading this path carefully, especially in choosing who to trust. To be honest, as of this moment, I do not know who in this organization would have my back and who would throw me under the bus.
Maybe I will find real friends here.
Or maybe not.
But then again, that’s not my purpose. It’s just a bonus.
Good thing I found this photo on Instagram.
In other news
I just finished watching #TheBestHit today. I delayed watching the last four episodes on purpose (the show ended a month ago). I didn’t want to say goodbye to Yoon ShiYoon my love. Lol.
But it was a great ending, it did not feel rushed or forced.
Would I recommend it?
You bet I would. Lol.
If you love sunsets
I’d be leaving you with these two photos that I took earlier. These are not edited and are purely #NoFilter
There is an airplane in this shot.