worst month?

I think May 2017 is one of the worst months ever. Aside from the terrorist attacks all around the world, I’ve personally experienced how cruel this month was.

I started it losing a new wallet that had all my atm and credit cards, IDs and other wallet stuff. And earlier, I began the last day of the month inside a hospital. I had my buddy down there checked because it looked really sick.

To be honest, this isn’t really new to me. Remember that I volunteer as an HIV counselor.

I’ve also had some instances in the past when I thought I’ve already had it (luckily I didn’t).. so back to today, I’m pretty much fucked. I will have to wait three months to find out if the things I did the past month would be the reason for my demise – I hope not.

So what exactly happened?

I did a “tracking” of the “activities” I did in the past months and here are the people I suspect could have given me an infection:

1) The easter sunday guy I met on a dating app (this was April)
2) A regular fuck buddy (can’t even remember the last time I asked him to help me get off)
3) A new guy I met on gay dating app Grindr, but I just let him have a taste. i didn’t even finish.
4) This guy I met last week (and the irritation of my buddy happened this weekend)

It’s relatively easy for gays to find hookups. I’m not even that good looking. So you do realize how quickly diseases can transfer from one person to another.

If I would become HIV positive, would I be prepared? Based on experience, nobody comes prepared for that. But you know what, if I think about it, the things I tell to my counselees – how I manage their feelings, I just have to tell it to myself. Of course things would never be the same again. You will forever be marked.

But people survive, they hold on and carry on.

Sorry; I’m just needing an outlet. I still hope that the result would be just fine.

I get my blood test results (for the STI) tomorrow; I’ll have my HIV test done by mid-August. I resolve not to do anything that would put me at risk from this day forward.

Ugh. This shit is really scary.

To be gay and promiscuous (and horny af).

But I received some good news.

My sister, whom I’ve taken care of when she was a baby, is graduating with Latin Honors!!!

I’m not sure if it’s the same with other countries- but college graduates in the PH have the following honors:
Summa Cum Laude, Magna Cum Laude and Cum Laude. My sister is a Cum Laude!! I’m so happy for her. At least there’s something great happening in the family.

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