A Question – and the thoughts that follow.

Since No one is Asking me Anything #AskMeAnything Lol, I decided to just ask myself a question and I’m frantically typing this a few minutes before midnight, lol.

Hah!

Now, that’s a good question. I wrote about my TOTGA (the one that got away) story sometime last year and I tried to chase him in a faraway land, but as expected, nothing happened. Fate was somehow mischievous as she designed a plan for our paths to somehow “cross”; but of course, nothing happened.

And to answer this question – well, let him come back. It’s actually a one in a million – no make that a billion chances – for this guy to even consider dating me.

If he comes back, and if he comes back for me – then I’d be a hypocrite to say that I wouldn’t take that chance. I’d grab it and not let it go. Hahaha.

But for now, I’d say I’m happy with whatever’s happening for him. I can see that he’s already successful and that he is already in love with (unfortunately) someone else.

As for me, well… It is really hard to deal with romance if you’ve been alone for more than 8 years. I wouldn’t say I have already lost my interest in love.. But maybe

I’m just afraid that if ever something comes along I’d either be so scared to let him go (and I’ll turn into a clingy old bitch) or so scared that he’d feel I’m too clingy (so I’d be so lax but deep inside paranoia will be eating me alive). In short, I may have already forgotten how to handle relationships.

It’s frustrating, in a way, seeing most of your friends post happily married photos or happily building a family; and you are still scrambling to find that one person who’d fit in your life

The other day, I was dining with my parents and then I realized that they’ve aged. I don’t know how to feel about it, but you can still see that the two of them still love and respect each other after so many years of being together (33 years married, before that I don’t know how long they’ve been a couple). So it is still possible. True love still exists.

The next question, I guess, would be:

Where do you search for Love?

How do you find it?

I have always been a believer of love. And I know that this world, no matter how fcked up it may seem, is always overflowing with it.

I know that I am not an expert, heck, 8 years single? 31 years old and no successful relationship yet?

Hah. It’s almost midnight now. But I am leaving you with this – my next post would be about something that is very, very dear to me. I have already mentioned it in several posts and promised to write about it

And yet, haven’t found time to do so. I hope tomorrow would be a good day. I’m excited to share it with the Dayre community.

😘

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