And Never Painful.
That’s how I would describe you.
You were introduced to me days before you even met me; not sure if you ever had an idea on who I was.. But I came with no expectations, having seen you with someone else.
And you reminded me that I am capable of being loved, or appreciated.. That I can still be myself and not be judged.
You looked at me in a way no one else did. I do not know if it was sheer amusement, I’d be a hypocrite not to say that I wish it was admiration.
I guess I was drawn to your smile, how your eyes sort of close when you laugh; or those little movements that tell me you’re scared of being watched, of doing something wrong.
I liked how you can be so real and amusing and sensible and funny. I admired how you talked about things with much gusto; how you become so animated but in a weirdly beautiful way.
Most especially, I loved how you made me feel – happy and giddy and excited; unsure but contented.
It all felt lightly, like air.
Like it was just the natural thing to do.
I never felt anything like it. I was at ease.
And yet, I have to deal with just taking things slowly. I am not that patient.. But I am willing to give it a try, I just hope you are as willing as I am.
Maybe. I wish.
We haven’t talked about it yet. It’s too early.
I want you to see me, flaws and all.
You’ve seen the exterior, and I want you to see the inside – broken, damaged, crushed and all the whatnots.
I overthink. I go cray-cray. Something that I should not and never do. But that’s me. I want to be real with you.
I wanted to just remember the happy times, to let it just end there.
But I will forever regret not doing anything about it.
So yes, here I am. And it scares the hell out of me.