And then now.
I have been single for more than seven years? I think? My last relationship was 2008.
Is it karma? Am I paying for the sins I have committed in the past?
I don’t know.
But I have been bad. I have been very, very bad. I ruined relationships, damaged friendships. I remember back in college, I used to date this guy (just date) and I saw his friend who was a bit cute, and flirted with him and you know what happened next.
This is just the tip of the iceberg. I could not divulge anything more than this. Haha.
I was young and wild and free – so they say.
After I passed the boards, I quitted that way of life. I dated and met a boyfriend (my ex) and after him, I focused on my friends and career- except for some random hookups (the officemate included), which were not as frequent as during the time when I was still studying / reviewing.
I guess I’m now worried that I may have used up all my chances on finding the right guy. Or maybe, I’m just afraid that what I did to those people would come and haunt me.
I have been chasing the wrong people – all of them already taken, or will never look at me the way I look at them. Or is it just the old me, loving challenges and taking the risks? If I do end up getting who I want, will it be a happy ever after? Or will I just end up hurting them?
Do you remember me?
Lost for so long
Will you be on the other side
Or will you forget me?
I’m dying, praying, bleeding and screaming
Am I too lost to be saved?
Am I too lost?
Ending the post with this song.